Russian etiquette and polite forms
Russian sounds blunt to English-speakers because it skips many softeners. But Russian has its own politeness toolkit: вы forms, conditional бы for requests, diminutives, and a couple of fixed expressions you'll hear constantly.
вы — the foundation of politeness
Always use вы with anyone you don't know personally. Russian has no neutral 'you' — it's binary. Defaulting to ты with a stranger is rude. The verb agrees with вы (plural form), and addressing one person formally takes the same form as addressing many people.
Softening with 'бы'
Adding бы to a verb softens it from a demand to a polite request: - Я хочу чай. = I want tea (blunt). - Я хотел бы чай. / Я бы хотел чай. = I would like tea (polite). - Можно? = Is it allowed? - Можно было бы… = Would it be possible to…
Stock polite phrases
- Извините, пожалуйста = Excuse me, please. - Простите = Sorry / Excuse me. - Будьте добры = Be so kind. (Followed by the request.) - Скажите, пожалуйста = Tell me, please. (Standard way to ask a question of a stranger.) - Не могли бы вы… = Could you (please)… These stack — Russians often layer two of them: Извините, скажите пожалуйста, где банк?
Addressing strangers
Russian doesn't have an equivalent of 'Mr/Ms' for everyday use. Strategies: - Извините or Простите to get attention (English equivalent: 'Excuse me'). - Молодой человек for a young man / Девушка for a young woman — used in shops and on the street. - For older strangers, just use вы and start with извините. - Names with patronymic for formal contexts: Иван Петрович (Ivan, son of Pyotr).
Saying no politely
- Спасибо, не надо = Thanks, that's okay (refusing an offer). - К сожалению, нет = Unfortunately, no. - Боюсь, что нет = I'm afraid not. A bare нет to a request feels harsh. Add a softener.
